If the world doesn't end in 2000 it won't be for lack of trying.

The millennialist political elitists continue to do their share in destroying civilization as we have known it.

I'm not referring to those confused souls who, continuing the age-old tradition of anticipating the end, bought one-way tickets to exotic places. The 2d law of thermodynamics suggests that they are destined, eventually, to get the date right.

I divide millennialists into three categories: those predicting a golden age (on earth or in heaven); those who expect doomsday; and the "apres moi le deluge" royalists cloaked in bureaucratic coats of many colors. The latter are self-ordained world rulers. If we don't submit to their ministrations, they're satisfied that we'll all perish together.

Some historical figures may come to mind. But I am more concerned with the current crop of wannabe dictators. Among these we may count the World Trade Organization. A key issue on the recent WTO agenda in Seattle was tariffs for cross-border electronic transactions, on which there is currently a moratorium.

One of the few voices of semi-sanity amidst the droolers was Secretary of Commerce William M. Daley, who pointed out the difficulty of collecting such duties. Most Internet purchases remain intangibles such as downloaded software and music, from computer to computer.

About the same time as the WTO bacchanalia, a national convention of state legislators debated how best to extract their kilo of flesh from the Internet in the form of sales taxes, at least on physical goods such as books, clothing and appliances.

Last week the U.S. Advisory Commission on Electronic Commerce licked its chops in San Francisco, salivating to sink its collective fangs into our cyber-bloodstream (and our wallets).

In their millennial wet dreams these vampires share the delusion that they will do you a favor by permitting you to retain some portion of your earnings after deducting the payments "due" them for munificently providing you with "services."

"Why," they ask, "should electronic purchases be exempt from the tax burden borne by the stores on Main Street?" They avoid the thought that decreasing the legislatures' orgiastic self-indulgent spending might lighten the burden on Main Street.

They ignore the fact that, especially as regards the over 7,000 state, county and city taxing bodies, virtually no services are provided to Internet companies other than where the companies reside.

The idea that Internet transaction taxes could be imposed at the point of origin is anathema to the tax vultures.

They fear (horrors!) tax competition between states, harming their ability to lure Internet companies into their clutches. Worse, that those already located there might flee to lower tax states, or to a Caribbean tax haven.

They want uniformity, a national or even international Internet tax so that (at least until NASA gets its act together) there will be no place to hide.

Take no comfort from the occasional hesitations in their lust for your dollars.

When the Internet tax satyrs next surface their dismal demands, resort to our immortal symbol of independence.

No, not the Constitution. Not the Alamo.

I mean the only 20th century sign likely to be honored in the new millennium. The one so innovatively embellished by the producers of "Laugh In."

Flash them the fickle finger of fate.

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