The telcos can't get out of their own way, the cable companies don't know which way is up, and the satellite operators are so high on themselves they can't see where their potential customers are. In other words it's time for one of my irregular rants about Internet bandwidth.

"Phone company" in Chicago usually means Ameritech, the outfit so brilliant that they sell a privacy service to intercept annoying telemarketing calls, most of which they originate themselves. Two years ago Ameritech began testing high-speed ADSL (Asymmetrical Digital Subscriber Line) home Internet service, originally planned for rollout in 1997-98.

But what have they accomplished in two years? Go to www.ameritech.com, search on ADSL, and you'll find that this technological marvel is available to all home users -- if your home happens to be in Ann Arbor, Michigan. "By the end of the century, 70% of the homes in the Great Lakes region will have access to the service," they say. Let's see. In two years they managed to hook up one small town, but in the next 12 months ADSL will be everywhere? Maybe.

Compare this with ISDN (Integrated Services Digital Network), which the telcos touted as the imminent solution to all our communications problems -- 10 years ago. How many people do you know with ISDN lines in their homes?

There are many flavors of DSL, any of which would be an improvement over dialup modems. The current favorite for home and small business use is usually referred to as DSL Lite, sometimes also called "splitterless DSL," and is being pushed by some big names in the industry, including Microsoft. Using your current phone line, a network interface card and a DSL modem, you would have a full-time connection to the Internet that is "always on," no dialing required. Because voice/fax and data can use one DSL line simultaneously you could save the expense of a 2d phone line.

Speeds may be as much as 50 times faster than a standard modem, all things being equal. But one expert says that DSL speed claims depend on who is the biggest liar. A Hewlett-Packard DSL specialist has been quoted as saying that phone cable records are so screwed up that the telcos have no idea what they're selling.

MCI, via subsidiary UUNET, promises to make DSL Lite available to 400 cities by January, including Chicago, via local ISPs (Internet service providers). Pricing would be set by the ISPs, but is projected at $40-$60 monthly. MegsInet, 225 W. Ohio, is working on yet another version, together with Nortel, called 1Meg Modem, also scheduled for deployment in January (NNN Sep. 19). Pricing has not been announced.

Compaq and Dell plan to include DSL modems in their new lines of PCs as standard equipment -- along with cable modems, just in case your cable company comes out of hibernation, sees its shadow, and figures out that there is demand for Internet service.

Will any of this come to pass as promised? Will it be worth the cost if it does? Keep your modem dry, your wallet cocked and locked, but don't fire up your credit card just yet.

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