I guess I'm not much of a conversationalist.

My 1st and last involvement with online chat rooms was in 1990. I was uncomfortable typing "conversations," bewildered by the interface, and even more uncomfortable with participants adopting odd "handles" instead of real names. I like to know who's on the other end of the line. Conversing with "CyberAlley Sally" or "The Grinch" leaves me wondering what is hidden behind the persona.

Typing resembles correspondence, not conversation. For electronic communications I prefer thoughtful comments, prepared at leisure, as with e-mail and bulletin board exchanges. One of Netscape Communicator's annoyances is its installation of AOL Instant Messenger, a chat utility permitting even non-AOL members to interrupt friends and strangers alike. I declined to join, but it has more lives than the monkey that would not die, and I haven't yet managed to banish its pop-up blandishments.

Friends recently convinced me to try ICQ ("I seek you"), an Internet "buddy list" program developed in 1996 by a group of "20-something" Israelis. ICQ finds your associates online in real time. You can create a contact list containing only people you select to chat and exchange files with, or chat randomly with other ICQers.

Direct modem communications has a long history, especially for file transfer, though it often requires long-distance calls. The Internet recognizes no geographic barriers, making ICQ economical for instant information exchange with contacts anywhere. ICQ's flower icon sits in the Windows 95/NT tray (it also works with other operating systems, including Mac and Linux), next to the clock. It pops up a box that sends ICQ searching for friends who are registered for the service, alerting you when they sign up, and informing you when they're online.

As I write this column on my laptop in a Phoenix hotel room, the ICQ box floats on my screen, showing that the two contacts to whom I've granted the dubious privilege of being able to chat with me are both (fortunately!) offline. But last night I was able to discuss, in real time, pending business with a colleague in Chicago, saving me a long-distance call, and proving ICQ's value.

Exchanging files via ICQ, though touted as faster than e-mail, I found less worthwhile. E-mail transfers may be done at the sender's and recipient's convenience, while ICQ requires simultaneous attendance.

Here's a quick-start guide to running ICQ: Register using the "registration wizard." Add friends and associates using the "add contacts wizard." Right-click on a name in the contact list to initiate "events" (chat, file transfer). When an event arrives, a flashing icon appears near the contact that sent it. (If you have a sound card there's also an "Incoming chat request" announcement.) Double click it to accept.

Download ICQ from Mirabilis (it's free) and see if it suits your style. AOL recently purchased ICQ, making instant millionaires of its young developers, who promise to maintain it unchanged. Used prudently, ICQ may expand your business and social communications flexibility and efficiency. Used promiscuously, it may bog you down in mindless chatter. As with any tool, results depend on how it's wielded.

Go thou and chat wisely.

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